How do you envisage the way to enjoy life when you're a "pensioner"?

[CanadianLori]

He the neighbour was bragging years ago that he was going to retire at the age of 55 but he was still 70...

Hmmmmm, now Colin, not everyone is able to work through adverse conditions. Single moms, widows etc..

I will probably be working until I'm well past 70. Not full time but as I want.

I brought up my sons from 18 months old until they married and left home. Did it alone, no child support. I chanved out dryer bearings, clothes washer water pumps, gearing harnesses, spark plugs in my car, made shelf units, changed out toilets more or less fixed just about everything on my own.

Late in life I found a partner. Long after my sons were grown and gone. Between the two of us, we purchased and paid off our home. We ripped out the main floor and put in a new kitchen, dining and living room. We renovated our three bathrooms. And the list goes on...

I consider myself semi retired. I have loads of friends. We visit the pub, for about an hour 2 or 3 times a week and anybody under 60 thinks of me as Mom. We visit old friends and make new ones. I "waste" money all the time. I really can't afford to do that but if a whim catches me, I go for it. Even if I have to charge it and pay up later.

My sons drop by for brief visits a couple of times a week. I have 9 grandchildren who keep me active and in the loop. Try undoing the downloads after they've had your, tablet or laptop or cell phone for awhile...

I've snow skied, water skied, power boated, go-carted, sky dived, jumped into water off a 40 foot cliff and generally had reckless fun.

None of our vehicles are new but they have low mileage and are properly maintained.

My point is that hard work, as you say, is rewarded, but one can have a helluva ride too!

And I'm okay with working until I'm dead. I'm having a super time

 

[Silentrunning]

Colin, I can agree with all you say but my wife and I enjoy our wine with dinner. I also like a glass of brandy or cognac before bedtime.

Lori, you sound like the type of lady that every young man should look for in a wife.

 

[alp]

Lori: Like your life style. Each to his/her own. We all have different priorities and ways to fire the passion in our belly.

Love your life, Lori. Live life to the full. Now, you're resourceful and multi-skilled, an inspiration ..

 

[Colin]

Hi,

I take my hat off to you Lori; you've overcome adversity and climbed on top when others would have given in a lot sooner; well done and full credit to you that you richly deserve.

Here in the UK lots of gals are now doing what guys used to do regarding fixing up homes and DIY etc; Diy stores close just leaving the big stores like B&Q; there is so much money around these days it's easier to get someone in than get dirty hands; new generations are coming up that can't knock a nail in; schools are selling off all the woodworking machines and kit in fact I've owned and still own machines from schools.

I grew up in a family of drunks Silentrunning so I'm totally biased when it comes to alcohol and I openly admit it; having police come into my parents home at midnight to break up a drunken fight between my late father and younger brother made me never to want to be like them. Having a quiet drink in moderation I understand and I don't knock this at all; it's a good way to unwind and relax; I also look at it another way; when Bron and I married we were desperate for money so every penny had to be spent carefully and even now we are still careful with money although we can afford to buy whatever we wish; I see a tool in a bottle of spirits or a six pack; with my background I prefer to have the tool but Bron and I get our pleasure from being together and enjoying day trips out weather permitting; I won't criticize anyone having a drink only criticize those who drink into oblivion so no offence meant to anyone it's just such a personal thing to me.

My family never made Bron welcome in fact they were downright hostile towards Bron and my family even ruined what should have been the best day of Bron's life the day she married; it wasn't Bron at fault but funding alcohol at fault; for me to marry anyone it meant a big reduction in alcohol funds for my parents.

I fully agree with you Silentrunning in that Lori is the type of wife any guy would be proud to be married to; I'm lucky in that I've got a clone of Lori in my Bron.

Well said alp; yes we all choose what we want to do but of course there are things that sometimes prevent free choice; illness; weather and lack of funds are just three; I've been ill from being born; it slows me down at times and makes life unpleasant but like Lori I just get on with it. Weather is my biggest moan; I was washing a cup in the kitchen sink this morning and looking out of the window it was raining as usual; I washed the cup and looked out of the window again and in less than half a minute it was now white over with a belt of heavy hail passing through; after breakfast most of the hail had gone and been replaced by more rain; as I type it's now snowing heavily and ever present Gale is here driving it all along. I've been often been told it's OK for me because both Bron and I paid into our pensions and now we are benefiting from this planning; it's always OK for us?

Retirement is really down to the individual; I used to visit our local post office and stand in the queue often with three or four old ladies in the queue and these would be discussing their own medication or operations family and friends had/are undergoing; retirement can be excellent but it can also be the loneliest of places.

Kind regards, Colin.

 

[Silentrunning]

Colin, I too grew up in a house made disfunctional by alcohol. My father was the kindest most gentle and giving person in the world until he took a drink. He would change instantly. That is why we limit ourselves to a glass or two of the finer drink. Of course we never drink and drive which precludes going to a tavern. I take no offense at your distain for alcohol but rather admire you for it. I would have more friends alive here on earth if they had followed your example.

 

[Esther Knapicius]

Colin it is a treasure that you and Bron found each other. As you stated you and her don't socialize much or travel. As both of you are so much like peas in a pod, it is a concern when one of you go. will be so heart breaking. I have you nave some support system over there.

I head into retirement this year, at the age soon for full Social Security from my payments into it. house will be paid off in 3 months. we are ok with other savings. Two paychecks over here. 401 doing great. My husband is trying to sell his company.

What will I do, besides a good year of hiatus of making a perfect garden and throwing out stuff we don't need in our house. In a year will tell you. Already have a company that wants to hire me for how many hours I can do at a great hourly rate, if I go with them, it will be a year out, its an option. Maybe will sell cookies. being open minded.

We do travel a lot. have timeshares. will continue to travel. have friends in various parts of the world I can stay a month with . My only issue is my cats, don't want to be away from them longer than 2 weeks.

 

[alp]

As both of you are so much like peas in a pod, it is a concern when one of you go. will be so heart breaking. I have you nave some support system over there.

Yes, Colin - try to open up a bit, socialise and be a bit more inclusive. Sometimes, human beings can be very disappointing, it would still be nice to have friends out for a walk, garden or national trust property visits. I am quite misanthropic myself, but I have various things to do in life .. hopefully, buy son a fishing licence and go fishing with him. Life is full of possibilities and it should be fun .. There is sunrise and sunset and fine weather to be happy about. No need to worry about your family not welcoming to Bron. If my family were like this, I wouldn't even waste time talking about on, especially it must have been years ago on. Life is to live and to enjoy and get the fun factor.

 

[Logan]

I don't know what retirement is, i gave up work when i had my son in 1979. Didn't go back to work because i felt that i should look after him myself. I re married in 1985, didn't have to go out to work still. But much into gardening,growing fruit and veg. Won't get a pension until I'm 67. Hopefully i'll be able to do what i'm doing now,that's including keeping golden retrievers and to walk them. I do have trouble with my back,so hope that doesn't become a problem in the future.

 

[Upsy Daisy]

Don't belittle childrearing @Logan...it's a full-time job!!!

I know what you mean though, especially about wanting to look after him. That's why I went back to study Child Care and Education, so that I could not only run my own setting from home but also be there for all my own little ones tooIt was a win win as I still wanted to be able to contribute financially as having 3 children under school age did make the pennies disappear quicker!!!

Mmm.. back problems can be a downer as we age sadly. I think carrying babies and pushing double buggies for 30 years helped to seal my fate......but I have absolutely no regrets...49 babies later!!!

 

[Logan]

@upsydaisy thanks i don't. I wish i could have had more,but being heavily pregnant weekened my bladder,i was advised not have anymore. Yes being heavily pregnant did hurt my back as well. Just after i had him my back was killing me. But it went off after a few weeks.

 

[Upsy Daisy]

 

[Colin]

Hi,

Thanks Esther; what you say makes sense and it will be devastating for one of us when the other passes on. Only in the last few years have Bron and I started to enjoy our retirement and this is because we've dumped so many who were causing us problems being unhappy in their own lives and trying to make us unhappy; we no longer wish to socialize at all but to now fully enjoy what years we still have in front of us and enjoy these years together. We've never felt the need to travel and we still don't take holidays away from home; we are very content here we just want to be left alone in peace to do our own thing; unfortunately us being happy seems to upset so many people. We don't forgive and we certainly won't forget.

Over here Esther we have Social Security and The National Health Service both these doing a decent job for people in need as they age;

Thanks alp; I know you mean well but Bron and I have been kind and welcomed people into our home but now we are very selective indeed finding it hard to trust anyone. Only at my mother's cremation a few years did ago did Bron and I finally break clear of my family; we've not seen any of them since and never want to see any of them again; Bron's distant relatives are just that; distant from us; we exchange cards and phone calls but we aren't close.

We aren't recluses (yet) we enjoy each others company at home but we go out together at least twice weekly to stores and garden centres etc; if ever the weather behaves we go out a lot more; on a nice evening we like to jump into the Yeti and have a nice drive in the local countryside; we never eat out or visit pubs; our life might seem strange and very limited to those who love to have foreign holidays and dine out but it's not for us and we never miss such things. We paid our mortgage off the week I retired and we've no debts whatsoever other than general household running costs; money isn't a problem we usually pay cash when we trade our car in when it reaches three years old but now we have the Yeti we like it so much that we might end up keeping it because it suits us so well; we don't feel the need to show off with a new car or indeed show off to anyone; we are who we are. If only the sun would come out and stay out then we could have some real enjoyment in our retirement; I took Bron over to "The Range" in Barnsley this morning a 30 mile round trip; it got us out but at 3C it was cold and the breeze was absolutely perishing; whilst there we popped into Maplins where I bought a couple of items for my lathe modification project; we are very happy doing this kind of thing. Before our local scrap yards closed Bron would accompany me in the car; I would be on top of the world searching for raw materials for the workshop dressed in my rags whilst Bron would be happy to sit in the car reading a girlie mag; I take Bron to stores to let Bron buy her crafting materials; we encourage each other in our assorted hobbies.We don't need to spend a great deal of money to try to make us happy because we are happy as we are.

How many couples have a family then the family grows up and moves well away from the family home leaving the couple mostly alone in their retirement; the family now possibly have a family of their own and need to get on with their own lives so are Bron and I any worse off now being together doing as we like? If I pass on first then I've ensured Bron won't be troubled by finances and our home is in top condition although I don't think either of us could live here alone it's too big and takes a lot of maintenance. Bron used to study art so she could resume this joining an art class; I enjoy all aspects of woodworking so I could join say a woodturning club; the only limit on old age is ill health and I'm aware quite a few members are starting to creak a bit as both Bron and I are but as long as we are up to it we intend to enjoy life the way we want to without any outside interference.

Knowing now what we know if we were to retire today we would make a few changes; one major change would not to be a soft touch the way we have been; neighbours going on holiday leaving us in charge of their home and pets thinking Bron and I retired for their convenience; not getting dragged into big jobs just because I have a well equipped workshop and skills to use all the equipment; over the years I've invested in good quality tooling and machines but upon seeing these neighbours believe I should take on lots of free jobs for them; I don't want their jobs and I don't want paying; I've become fed up of wasting the few summer days we get looking after houses and gardens for someone else; it's now time we looked after ourselves for a change and long overdue. I've been asked if I would take on servicing tyre equipment machinery by one neighbour a CEO of the company also another neighbour asked if I would take on servicing/repairs of works power tools he had over forty needing attention; both these get off on foreign holidays etc; of course it's flattering to be asked but I retired and these neighbours believe I'm at their demand? Looking after the bungalow next door whilst the neighbours were in Australia on holiday for six weeks enjoying themselves whilst I traipse around in terrible weather to ensure all was well then not to to receive a simple thank you upon their return wore very thin after a few years; they moved and now I'm doing jobs for our new neighbour who lives on her own; I'm a soft touch. I can't really complain because I should say "NO" more often. During our 30 years living here not one neighbour has even taken a parcel in for us.

I could ramble on forever but today has been excellent; no neighbour demands; off to the stores this morning and a couple of quality hours in the workshop this afternoon; a miracle also occurred because so far it hasn't rained today. Bron is content doing her hobbies and I've got lots of interesting workshop projects to look forward to; once I've sorted out my lathes I fancy doing a bit of woodturning just for the fun of it turning small lidded boxes; I've got a large set of hand chasers for adding threads into wood and I've never had the time to practice with these so turned wooden boxes with threaded lids are now an ambition. Tomorrow is workshop day after I've done the supermarket shopping first thing in the morning; retirement here we come and we intend to enjoy it to the full.

Kind regards, Colin.

 

[Esther Knapicius]

Colin I get the " selective friends" approach, I am also in that realm. I tell myself its because my expectations are too high. But then again, my expectations are only what I view as normal .
Yes, also get, how folks don't seem to do the same for each other as one would do for them. they are hard to find. Actually recently one of my neighbors knew I was under the weather and right out offered if she could do anything.

Now, Colin's lets get down to the hard facts. You say, both you and Bron have separated yourselves from your families, ok--your choice. I have seen in my career that when one dies, families have come out of the woodwork wanting stuff. and wanting money. Greedy souls that they are. I am not sure how assertive Bron is, you would know better. Hope it is not you that go first, but, for her protection you need to put things in place, so her greedy relatives don't convince her to give them something. I know, you Collin can stand up to them. But you know Bron the best, so ponder this.

I have had clients die, and "sisters" who never visited knocking on the door wanting her stuff. I have had a cousin who were not recorded in records, telling me "how dare I spend her money on their cousins funeral". .

Sorry I am sounding glum, sure you and Bron will be blessed with many wonderful years. Have to think of these things though as one ages.

 

[Esther Knapicius]

I don't know what retirement is, i gave up work when i had my son in 1979. Didn't go back to work because i felt that i should look after him myself. I re married in 1985, didn't have to go out to work still. But much into gardening,growing fruit and veg

Always wondered for those that have never had a job outside of their "housework/raising kids" how they go on vacation. to me that would be on vacation all the time. I love being home all weekend, its my psychological uplift, gardening, fussing around the house. etc. I have held a job since the age of 13years old, even through college, worked full-time. Always have my own money. Asking a "husband" for money is not something I do. Its hard for me to think this year I can stop working.

 

[alp]

on a nice evening we like to jump into the Yeti and have a nice drive in the local countryside;

Umm... I really love this. We live in a built-up area and to be able to be flanked by tall trees and fields on both sides is simply bliss!