Come to dinner, bring cash and a dish to pass

[marlingardener]

Have any of you encountered this kind of invitation? We were recently invited to dinner and the hostess asked us to bring a side dish to pass and to contribute $10 toward the cost of the meat and drink. This was over the telephone, so I was able to say that I needed to check with my husband to see what he had planned on that date and I'd get back to her.
I invented a prior commitment and declined the "invitation." I'd be happy to bring a dish to pass, but to pony up for what the host traditionally supplies? I was afraid after dinner we'd all be asked to wash dishes and vacuum the carpet!

 

[tbendl]

Yeah that's a little odd. I have brought dishes before but never asked to contribute. Are they raising money for an event?

 

[CanadianLori]

Omg. If I had been face to face for that invitation, the person would have seen all of my dental work!!!

if they couldn't afford to either supply the booze and have a potluck or supply the dinner and hope gracious guests brought along libations, they should not have bothered.

money should never exchange hands unless it has been a group arrangement/decision.

imho

 

[Chuck]

I had almost the same thing happen when I first moved to this area. It was called a Newcomers Welcome. I was told to bring a main dish that wasn't beef, pork or chicken. That left seafood. Luckily I was still a commercial fisherman and brought about 40 lbs of shrimp. If I hadn't have brought my "entrance fee" I don't know what would have happened. Anyway as I was leaving this "Gala" event I accosted the "Homeowner" and demanded to know how he had the gall to even think of something like this. Being as how I am 6'3" and weigh about 220 he demurred about asking me to return as I told him that if he ever contacted me again I would pay him a personal visit. And I made sure every one at this "event" was well aware of his scam. Come to find out this "Homeowner" was nothing but a renter. He and his wife are no longer in the area.

 

[grouie]

I am experiencing something just the opposite. Some of my classmates want to spend a day with me and said each would bring a dish. I flatly refused and said that I will arrange for everything as I am the hostess. It is ridiculous for anyone to bring cash. Potluck is fine.

 

[IcyBC]

OMG.. @marlingardener you made me laugh at your last line in the post! I would probably said "what kind of party is this?" That is just normal. Bring a dish to pass and also paid for yourself to be there? They can have their own party.

I once came a blog that hosted a giveaway party, by asking the participants to donate items to it. I couldn't help myself so I left a comment asking the blogger what kind of giveaway was this when she herself didn't have anything to give away? Well, long story short, she was pissed!!!

 

[galmal]

I'm afraid I'd have to say something like, "I don't think the company is worth the money" or "I've never had to pay anyone else to be my friend", or "For this kind of money, do I at least get an escort?".

The gall of some people, but you see it all the time. When people get married, they are now asking for money instead of a gift. Some even expect you to pay for the dinner. They want a destination wedding, yet guests are expected to pay their own way to the destination.

More and more we are getting in the habit of buying gift cards for special occasions, rather than taking the time to find something nice.

 

[marlingardener]

Oh, good--I was afraid I'd missed yet another modern day social practice. I'm a bit old-fashioned (I finally put down my quill pen and learned to use a computer) and I'm not up on today's mores. Your replies are making me feel better.
Galmal, "For this kind of money, do I at least get an escort?" Gosh, I wish I were swift enough to have thought of something like that reply!!!