P
Peace perfect peace
As we've talking about our cars I thought this joke abouts rolls royce was perfect for today (and AI who likes english humour)
All the places one can place a bet are closed and the gambler's are suffering at these strange times,
This man turns up at a new buildint site that got a sign saying "Wanted labourers",
He parks his Rolls/Royce just short of the doorway into the site managers office and walks inside,
"Hi" he says,
Do you still need workers ?
Sure do "the site manager replies,
He tells the man the pay/start time and all is well,
As the Labourer is leaving the managers office having been given a start the very next day the site manager comes to the door and shakes the Labourers hand and says see you 7am "sharp" tomorrow .
It's not long into the week that the site manager gets to know who owns that RollRoyce parked by the managers office And so at breaktimen he ask the Labourer
"How come to drive a RollsRoyce on your pay and the likes of me who earns twice what you gat "yet" i can only afford a small car?????
The Labourer replies, Well im a gambler and until this decease came about you would find me gambling, "But now every place is closed"
The site agent replies, Oh really, I myself like to bet every now and then,
The Labourer see's his chance and asked if the Manager would like to have a gamble,?
Manager, "Like what on , Horse's, card's, the weather ??? What!
No No the Labourer replies, they're to risky, how about i bet you by friday (payday) That i guess your weight right down to the last ounce ? No if's or buts the very very last digit ref your weight, and the bet is £50-00 winner takes all ???
Manager knowing his weight's up and down every week thinks i can control my own weight day by day by what i eat/drink so i can really win this bet,
Manger' Your on, I'll bring the scales into work and friday's winner takes all day?
Friday arrives and all the building site had heard of this bet and all stood by the wages collection window having all been paid,
Manager, Well lets see your money 'he says to the labourer",!!!!!! £50-00 was handed over to the wage clerk and then the second £50 handed by the manager to the wages clerk with the comment "you wont have to hold that for long' it'll be mine soon very soon, Out came the scales and the manager asked "well whats my weight?????
Labourer said ( as he leaned on his trusty lucky spade) I have to use this spade to tell your weight, And to do this you need to drop your pants so i can put the spade under your ball's and gently lift the spade up and down and then and only then can i judge your weight, and you can check my findings on your own scales !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The manager agrees, and the pants drop and as the labourer gently lifts & lowers the mangers balls, the rest of the sites work force look on.
Labourer's
findings, Your weight is 19stone 5 pounds and 3 ounces?
The manager almost jumped on the scales and Screamed your wrong wrong wrong Im 16stone's 4 ounce. Look the scales never lie
Give me the money give me the money
You lost out big time today didnt you (RollsRoyce owner)
The Labourer was thanking verious other workers as they handed him £50-00 here & £50 there' bets they'd all taken out,
The manager says, why are you people giving him these £50-00 ?????
One replied, Because we bet he would'nt have your Ball on his spade by pay day And he has.
All the places one can place a bet are closed and the gambler's are suffering at these strange times,
This man turns up at a new buildint site that got a sign saying "Wanted labourers",
He parks his Rolls/Royce just short of the doorway into the site managers office and walks inside,
"Hi" he says,
Do you still need workers ?
Sure do "the site manager replies,
He tells the man the pay/start time and all is well,
As the Labourer is leaving the managers office having been given a start the very next day the site manager comes to the door and shakes the Labourers hand and says see you 7am "sharp" tomorrow .
It's not long into the week that the site manager gets to know who owns that RollRoyce parked by the managers office And so at breaktimen he ask the Labourer
"How come to drive a RollsRoyce on your pay and the likes of me who earns twice what you gat "yet" i can only afford a small car?????
The Labourer replies, Well im a gambler and until this decease came about you would find me gambling, "But now every place is closed"
The site agent replies, Oh really, I myself like to bet every now and then,
The Labourer see's his chance and asked if the Manager would like to have a gamble,?
Manager, "Like what on , Horse's, card's, the weather ??? What!
No No the Labourer replies, they're to risky, how about i bet you by friday (payday) That i guess your weight right down to the last ounce ? No if's or buts the very very last digit ref your weight, and the bet is £50-00 winner takes all ???
Manager knowing his weight's up and down every week thinks i can control my own weight day by day by what i eat/drink so i can really win this bet,
Manger' Your on, I'll bring the scales into work and friday's winner takes all day?
Friday arrives and all the building site had heard of this bet and all stood by the wages collection window having all been paid,
Manager, Well lets see your money 'he says to the labourer",!!!!!! £50-00 was handed over to the wage clerk and then the second £50 handed by the manager to the wages clerk with the comment "you wont have to hold that for long' it'll be mine soon very soon, Out came the scales and the manager asked "well whats my weight?????
Labourer said ( as he leaned on his trusty lucky spade) I have to use this spade to tell your weight, And to do this you need to drop your pants so i can put the spade under your ball's and gently lift the spade up and down and then and only then can i judge your weight, and you can check my findings on your own scales !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The manager agrees, and the pants drop and as the labourer gently lifts & lowers the mangers balls, the rest of the sites work force look on.
Labourer's
findings, Your weight is 19stone 5 pounds and 3 ounces?
The manager almost jumped on the scales and Screamed your wrong wrong wrong Im 16stone's 4 ounce. Look the scales never lie
Give me the money give me the money
You lost out big time today didnt you (RollsRoyce owner)
The Labourer was thanking verious other workers as they handed him £50-00 here & £50 there' bets they'd all taken out,
The manager says, why are you people giving him these £50-00 ?????
One replied, Because we bet he would'nt have your Ball on his spade by pay day And he has.