An American's view of England

zigs

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This is brilliant :D

http://travel.aol.co.uk/2015/10/07/...rvations-england-scott-waters/?ncid=webmail14

[QUOTE/]

* Everything is just a little bit different
* The pubs close too early
* The reason they drive on the left is because all their cars are built backwards
* Pubs are not bars, they are community living rooms.
* You'd better like peas, potatoes and sausage
* Refrigerators and washing machines are very small
* Everything is generally older, smaller and shorter
* People don't seem to be afraid of their neighbors or the government
* Their paper money makes sense, the coins don't
* Everyone has a washing machine but driers are rare
* Hot and cold water faucets. Remember them?
* Pants are called "trousers", underwear are "pants" and sweaters are "jumpers"
* The bathroom light is a string hanging from the ceiling
* "Fanny" is a naughty word, as is "shag"
* All the signs are well designed with beautiful typography and written in full sentences with proper grammar.
* There's no dress code
* Doors close by themselves, but they don't always open
* They eat with their forks upside down
* The English are as crazy about their gardens as Americans are about cars
* They don't seem to use facecloths or napkins or maybe they’re just less messy than we are
* The wall outlets all have switches, some don't do anything
* There are hardly any cops or police cars
* 5,000 year ago, someone arranged a lot of rocks all over, but no one is sure why
* When you do see police they seem to be in male & female pairs and often smiling
* Black people are just people: they didn't quite do slavery here
* Everything comes with chips, which are French Fries. You put vinegar on them
* Cookies are "biscuits" and potato chips are "crisps"
* HP sauce is better then catsup
* Obama is considered a hero, Bush is considered an idiot.
* After fish and chips, curry is the most popular food
* The water controls in showers need detailed instructions
* They will boil anything
* Folks don't always lock their bikes
* It's not unusual to see people dressed different and speaking different languages
* Your electronic devices will work fine with just a plug adapter
* Nearly everyone is better educated then we are
* If someone buys you a drink you must do the same
* There are no guns
* Look right, walk left. Again; look right, walk left. You're welcome.
* Avoid British wine and French beer
* It's not that hard to eat with the fork in your left hand with a little practice. If you don't, everyone knows you're an American
* Many of the roads are the size of our sidewalks
* There's no AC
* Instead of turning the heat up, you put on a jumper
* Gas is "petrol", it costs about $6 a gallon and is sold by the liter
* If you speed on a motorway, you get a ticket. Period. Always
* You don't have to tip, really!
* Scotland, Wales, Ireland and Cornwall really are different countries
* Only 14% of Americans have a passport, almost everyone in the UK does
* You pay the price marked on products because the taxes (VAT) are built in
* Walking is the national pastime
* Their TV looks and sounds much better then ours
* They took the street signs down during WWII, but haven't put them all back up yet
* Everyone enjoys a good joke
* There are no guns
* Dogs are very well behaved and welcome everywhere
* There are no window screens
* You can get on a bus and end up in Paris
* Everyone knows more about our history then we do
* Radio is still a big deal. The BBC is quite good
* The newspapers can be awful
* Everything costs the same but our money is worth less so you have to add 50% to the price to figure what you're paying
* Beer comes in large, completely filled, actual pint glasses and the closer the brewery the better the beer
* Butter and eggs aren't refrigerated
* The beer isn't warm, each style is served at the proper temperature
* Cider (alcoholic) is quite good.
* Excess cider consumption can be very painful.
* The universal greeting is "Cheers" (pronounced "cheeahz" unless you are from Cornwall, in which case it's "chairz")
* The money is easy to understand: 1-2-5-10-20-50 pence, £1-£2 coins and £5-£10, etc bills. There are no quarters.
* Their cash makes ours look like Monopoly money
* Cars don't have bumper stickers
* Many doorknobs, buildings and tools are older than America
* By law, there are no crappy, old cars
* When the sign says something was built in 456, they didn't lose the "1"
* Cake is is pudding, ice cream is pudding, anything served for desert is pudding, even pudding
* BBC 4 is NPR
* Everything closes by 1800 (6pm)
* Very few people smoke, those who do often roll their own
* You're defined by your accent
* No one in Cornwall knows what the hell a Cornish Game Hen is
* Football is a religion, religion is a sport
* Europeans dress better then the British, we dress worse
* The trains work: a three minute delay is regrettable
* Drinks don't come with ice
* There are far fewer fat English people
* There are a lot of healthy old folks around participating in life instead of hiding at home watching tv
* If you're over 60, you get free tv and bus and rail passes.
* They don't use Bose anything anywhere
* Displaying your political or religious affiliation is considered very bad taste
* Every pub seems to have a pet drunk
* Their healthcare works, but they still bitch about it
* Cake is one of the major food groups
* Their coffee is mediocre but the tea is wonderful
* There are still no guns
* Towel warmers!
* Cheers
[/QUOTE]
 
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Hilarious.
I wonder how an Englishman would describe Texas? Even American tourists visiting Texas find us "strange".
 

zigs

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Hilarious.
I wonder how an Englishman would describe Texas? Even American tourists visiting Texas find us "strange".

We think it's full of Armadillos and Oil wells :)
 
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We think it's full of Armadillos and Oil wells :)
Not too far off the mark Zigs but waaay more armadillos. While driving down a road you see them all the time, upside down with all 4 feet in the air. We call these country oysters on the half shell. They are usually surrounded by Texas Parakeets known in other parts of the world as buzzards.
 
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I noticed a couple of mistakes in there Zigs, but I'll let them go. :D

My son is married to an American and has been living in Columbus, Ohio for the last four years. @Chuck, can you explain the American obsession with British accents please? Apparently whenever my some says something to someone he doesn't know, they say how they love his accent and start a conversation with him, possibly so he'll speak to them longer. :LOL:
 
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I noticed a couple of mistakes in there Zigs, but I'll let them go. :D

My son is married to an American and has been living in Columbus, Ohio for the last four years. @Chuck, can you explain the American obsession with British accents please? Apparently whenever my some says something to someone he doesn't know, they say how they love his accent and start a conversation with him, possibly so he'll speak to them longer. :LOL:
I guess it is because we hear the same old boring crap every day and when someone has an accent and is different it is like a breath of fresh air, plus someone with an accent has an excuse for using language that is not politically correct.
 
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But who wouldn't like a nice sausage along with some peas and potatoes? :confused: Those are universal delicacies that everyone should enjoy at least once in their lifetime, if not more :D
 
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That was a hilarious read! Interesting to hear about our home from a different view point :)
 
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After my college year in Spain, I took the summer to travel Europe. One of the very best experiences I had was in the UK. I loved the people--reserved but welcoming, Travel was easy with the trains and buses, and if you got lost some kind person would set you on the right path.
Say what you want, English cuisine is hearty and filling, a great thing for a college student.
I felt safe, welcomed, and fascinated by the UK. My one big disappointment was that I didn't get to see the Queen, but I sent her a thank-you note for running such a nice country.
 
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I couldn't read everything but as much as I do not like both cultures in a sense that is not for this forum I have to say I have respect for English culture to some point while I have none for Americans and American culture. This is just great coming from people whose ancestors were mostly British and managed to destroy a complete race of people and then use TV and Hollywood to make sure everybody will know how so called "Indians" were the bad guys.
I see these sentences and I just think about the fact they even managed to destroy a perfectly good language and make it senseless in the process but still managing to convince everybody it is okay. I know this is just a joke but I have met people from the U.S. who really think like this and are mostly unaware about history and some basic facts about them and their language.
 
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I too have a slight addiction to British accents. I work with a guy that is formally from the UK and I can talk to him for hours just to listen to the accent and hear how his slang is so different. If you have a British accent around here, you are automatically a refined person. I love that list. And somehow in America, we think all people look and act like the royal family.
 
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I haven't met a person that doesn't like British accent either! I think it is just sound prettier and elegant!
 

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